We are affected by the order we were born into our family. Consider your birth position
and how it has impacted your life. Understanding this cannot change your
circumstances but may help bring understanding.
Characteristics of a first born
Firstborns are raised by parents who are not experienced in raising children.
Parents tend to have very high expectations of and be stricter with them than
with the children who follow. Why?
In Kenyan culture firstborns have special responsibilities in helping with the
children who follow and, as adults, in making decisions with the parents that
affect the whole family.
What difference is there if the firstborn is a girl? A boy?
Second-born (sometimes are also the last born)
Parents have some experience with raising children, are more relaxed, have less
time.
What if the second born is a different gender from the first born? What if they are
the same gender?
What difference does number of years between the first and second make?
A second born tends to be competitive with first born (and others who follow).
Middle-child
Sometimes feel ‘lost in the crowd’ as they don’t receive the attention the firstborn
or last born might have received.
They may become more independent.
Characteristics of a third born (sometimes are also the last born)
Are often more social than those who proceeded.
Characteristics of a last-born
can be spoiled
can be teased by older siblings (as a result of jealousy)
may serve as a ‘helper’ to older married siblings
Only child
gets all the attention from parents
maybe more spoiled because of so much attention
may have to deal with greater expectations from parents
How do you feel about your birth order in your family?
Would you change it if you could? Why?
What would you like to tell God about it? What can you give thanks for about your birth
order?
Consider the dynamics of the different birth order combinations in your relationships e.g.
marriage